Stretch: Here for It, #356

Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!

Okay, this is not about to become a gym newsletter (gawd!) but, even though I wrote last time about my new gymnasium and their ailing elevators, I do have another thing to say about it. Forgive me! I live in an apartment building surrounded by a wall of snowbanks. I am like a bald Rapunzel. The gym is all I have.

In December I made a couple of Instagram posts about my experience at the gym just because I was in the mood to overshare. You know how it goes, baby. Sometimes you want to make life easier for the algorithm. Right now my algorithm is convinced that I need something called berberine and, I'm sorry to these pills (?), but I have not once been compelled to even look up what that is. I am someone who is passionate about snake oil and quick fixes so if you tell me you have a miracle cure for something I think is wrong with me (my personality in general) I'm going to click. Alas! Berberine? More like bye-bye-rine.

Anyway, the posts got the attention of the people who run the gym and someone actually stopped me in the lobby and was like "Are you Eric? I love your content."

Recognized at the gym?! "Hello, Olympics? Do you have a spot for one more! I'm a fitness influencer now!"

This is a new gym for me. I've been new at a lot of gyms over the years because of moves or because of gym closures or just because I stopped going and then decided I did not have the temerity to show my face at that Planet Fitness again after not going for nigh on a six months (this was not during my Year of Temerity).

I don't really have any anxiety anymore about just showing up and not knowing where anything is or being slower than I want to be. No one is paying attention to me. Or, if they are... I guess, please like and subscribe ✌️

In the past, I've jumped into a workout routine with a lot of gusto and I've often overdone it. And I'm always like "why are both my knees broken?? All I did was six advanced cardio kickboxing classes in a row after having a sedentary lifestyle for roughly 40 years. It's a mystery!"

A few years ago, I joined a new gym and went really hard and at the end of the year, as I was doing my yearly questionnaire, I observed that I'd been sick a lot that year. The following year, I didn't work out at all and I observed that I had not been sick. Then I went back and read the previous year and thought, now wait a minute... Y'know, sometimes the experience of being alive is just a longitudinal study. I'm just going through my years jotting down observations like I'm both Charles Darwin and a Galapagos penguin.

In the interest of taking it slow, I told myself I would only take yoga classes in January, with a little bit of weight training a few days a week. And, honey, yoga ain't no joke. That has been quite enough for me! The first yoga class I went to was a hot power vinyasa class and it turned me into bone broth.

When I walked into the class, a few minutes before the start, the teacher was sitting on the floor talking to everyone else and showing them something on her phone. I kind of got a little nervous--everyone in the room seemed to know each other and I believe they were all young women and my brain said (all experience in the gym to the contrary), "Oh, you don't belong here. You're harshing the vibe."

This was not true, but y'know the brain. (Jots down note: "Penguin... anxious... does not seem to know he is a penguin...") This was a few days before New Year's Eve and the teacher was showing the class her dress. She was mid-sentence and, without interrupting her flow, she turned to me and said, "Sorry, I gotta say something." Then she concluded her sentence with, "I got it fitted so it would squeeze my titties up to my face." I was like, okay yes I am locked in. This is absolutely a room I want to be in.

A few weeks later, I picked a Wednesday morning class called "Stretch and Strength." It was at 11 am on weekday so between the scheduling and the name, I had some idea of who the target audience was for it. Again, I thought, will I be intruding? But one of the things I know to be true about yoga and perhaps the gym in general is that it's a conversation with yourself and your own body and your own breath. The room that you're in is bordered by the edges of your mat, or the edges of your skin, or the edges of your mind. (Jots down note: "Penguin getting kind of woo woo with it.")

Whereas the hot yoga class had all the lights out, Stretch and Strength was in a very brightly lit room and most of the people in there appeared to be retired women who were actively chatting with each other about recent travels and the exploits of their adult children. I set up my mat in a free space between two of them, I said hello, and we all got to work. And it was an incredible class. (Jots down note: "Penguin discovers stretching. Perhaps strength?)

In other news, it goes without saying that it's easy to feel powerless and, frankly, psychotic in this world. This week, here in Philly, I'm looking forward to going to an ICE Out Solidarity training organized by two of our councilmembers, Kendra Brooks and Rue Landau. I found an article by Adam Serwer about the power of "neighborhism" and solidarity in Minnesota to be particularly powerful. Here's a gift link (courtesy of Today in Tabs).

Asking Eric: Siblings resent parents for their clutter

Dear Eric: My parents are retired and enjoying the empty nest stage of life. They have a rather large home and my mother’s mobility has been severely hampered in the last few years. They refuse to get rid of the things that no longer serve them. My mother over buys for everything and at times I think she forgets what they already have and just buys more, never cleaning out what she already…

ArcaMaxArcaMax Publishing, Inc.

Asking Eric: Parents suffering financial hardship feel guilty they can’t give to daughters

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been going through some very tough times this past year and a half. My husband hurt his back very badly at work and he was given no disability or compensation. We have a court date in July to see about his case. He has been out of work due to his condition which is very stressful and we are spending money only on necessities such as toilet paper, toothpaste and…

ArcaMaxArcaMax Publishing, Inc.

Asking Eric: Volatile daughter-in-law overhears family talking about her

Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our 70s and have never really been able to get close with our daughter-in-law. She and our son have been married for 13 years. She is nine years younger than him and this is his second marriage. They have one child, who is 11. She is always angry. She has a very explosive temper and yells, slams doors and has what I call tantrums. Her son is often on the…

ArcaMaxArcaMax Publishing, Inc.

Asking Eric: Boyfriend says ‘I love you’ but won’t commit

Dear Eric: I’m in my early 30s and seeing a really great guy. He checks a lot of boxes for me and I’m happy with him. My boyfriend and I said “I love you” to each other a few weeks ago. He said it first, and I said it back. We’ve been dating for about six weeks, so this feels normal. This isn’t my first relationship, but it’s moving more slowly than my other relationships have in the past. I’m…

ArcaMaxArcaMax Publishing, Inc.

Asking Eric: Friend group sides with suspicious HOA president against whistleblower

Dear Eric: For the past 10 years, a core group in our Homeowners’ Association (HOA) has been very close. We get together on weekends, have meals together, attend HOA events and even go on vacations with each other. One member of our group is the HOA president and has held that position for more than 20 years. While the HOA board funded many improvements to our property initially, lately…

ArcaMaxArcaMax Publishing, Inc.

Penguin... anxious...,
Eric