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Model: Here for It, #350

R. Eric Thomas

09 Nov 2025 • 7 min read

Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!

Well, hello. You are receiving this email from a fashionista. Yes, it's true. I am of the moment and au courant and pret-a-porter. Tyra Banks holds one photo in her hand and it is mine and even though I've been given a deranged haircut that borders on punishment and I've received nothing but critique from Ms. Jay, I am America's Next Top Model.

Why's that, you ask? On Tuesday, I was stopped by a Street Style photographer in New York City and there's nothing that anyone can ever tell me for the rest of my life. I want this on my tombstone: a random person with a camera in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of said "Hey, can I take your picture?"

On one hand, this makes sense. I like to dress. I sometimes don't know what my style is and I am too cheap to buy high fashion and sometimes (often) I am tricked by a Uniqlo mannequin who does not share my body type in any way. But I love a costume.

One of my friend Chris Newcomer's favorite Miss Piggy quotes is "I am a fashion model!" Because I, like Chris, am also a Miss Piggy devotee, this is also one of my favorite quotes. We love it so much that he wrote it in my guestbook.

What do you mean, you home "doesn't have" a guestbook? How else am I supposed to keep track of who is in my apartment? A bouncer? I don't have enough money for staff. In this economy? Let's be serious.

So, yes. I like to wear clothes.

But on the other hand, the one time I met Nina Garcia (at a staff meeting at Elle) I was wearing cargo pants and a waffle shirt from Target. I tell myself that she didn't notice but I was sitting right next to her and I blurted "I didn't know we were having this meeting and I didn't plan on being in the office today and I ran out of clothes because I didn't plan on being in New York this long and I'm staying at an AirBnb in Queens that is just some person's house with all the other bedrooms rented out and there's a child in the living room all the time and I'm having a crisis."

Anyway, that was years ago. Now I wear cargo pants on purpose because they are back in style again and I am nothing if not a hip, very young fashionista.

I'm in New York for most of the month for work. But if you're planning to rob my apartment, please know that I am coming back on random days and also I've set up a Home Alone situation with a Uniqlo mannequin. If that doesn't deter you, at least water my basil plant on your way out. She's having a moment.

I was walking to work in New York on Tuesday, having voted in Philadelphia that morning. I was wearing in a black hoodie and sort of dressy cargo pants when the photographer stopped me. The work in question was a musical for which I wrote the script. It's about the ballroom scene and the history of voguing in the late 80s and 90s, and I've spent years immersed in the history of the scene, talking to the icons of ballroom, going to balls. This is a community of such immense talent and every single person has incredible style, so I'm not going to show up to rehearsal looking all kookoo crazy.

But I certainly can't compete! So, I sit behind my table marked Team Script in the widest leg pants that you can possible imagine because a salesperson at Zara once said "hmm, nice" and I try not to offend anyone's visual sensibilities.

I don't always succeed. On Friday, I was sitting in a cafe in Bushwick wearing one of the very many sweaters I own that are Too Much. In the winter time I dress like a Muppet and that makes sense based on my personality but it's also a cry for help. I looked around and I realized that every single person in the cafe was wearing either black or taupe or both. Meanwhile...

It truly felt like one of those movies where an animated character gets stuck in the real world and has to learn a valuable lesson while helping a sad man (played by Jason Sudekis) bond with his kids and apologize to his ex-wife (Jessica Chastain).

I am Amy Adams in Enchanted. I am Boop from the musical Boop.

But all that was later. On Tuesday, I was wearing black and taupe and the street style photographer stopped me and she said (I'm getting emotional just typing this), "You've got a great look. You must get stopped all the time."

ALL THE TIME?!

I MUST GET STOPPED ALL THE TIME!!!

The paparazzi are going CRAZY for me! Nina Garcia is on line one and this time she doesn't seem confused by my presence!

Church, I don't think I ever need praise ever again because a random stranger in New York was like "hmm, nice." (Does she say this to everyone? Probably! I DO NOT CARE.)

Y'know, I just love a costume. In my play Crying on Television, there's a scene where a nosy neighbor is questioning another character. And the neighbor is taking notes on a detective pad. And the character, Chris, asks, "are you a detective?" The neighbor, Taffy, says, "No, why would you think that?" Chris replies, "Well, your props for one. But your costume seems more like Regional Manager at a bank."

Taffy: I'm not wearing a costume.

Chris: We're all wearing costumes.

Taffy: Oh, stitch that on a pillow.

I am both of these characters. But, more than anything, I am a fashion model!