Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
I am writing to you (later than usual!) with one eye on the Tony Awards broadcast where currently Nancy Botwin from Weeds is wearing a gown and a mask and looking bemused while watching Mr. Shue sing "You Can't Stop the Beat". These are my primary interests in life and I have come to accept this.
Everything is running a little late for me today because on Saturday, David and I had the opportunity to scoot up to Brooklyn for the wedding of two friends in their backyard. A backyard in Brooklyn! Can you believe it? I was there and I do not believe it. I was like, clearly we are in a tastefully dressed alley, a pizza shop with an overactive philodendron, a holodeck stuck on the terrarium setting. But no! It was an actual backyard in the borough of Brooklyn. Maybe this is more common than I would think. I have no idea. I'm just a Maryland suburbanite watching the Tonys from a haunted Panera. As if a backyard at all wasn't stunning enough, the yard had two different tiers! It had an upstairs and a downstairs like a British drama series! The wedding was gay but the yard was bi-level. (Amazingly I should not be as tickled by that dumb joke as I am. But alas, this is my primary sense of humor and I have come to accept this.)
I've never been to a wedding at someone's home before, but I have to say I really love this concept. It allows me to engage in two of my hobbies at once: being happy for other people's happiness and being envious of other people's interior design. I'm like clapping and crying as they kiss while whispering "what shade of paint is this and do you remember how much it cost?" It's called multi-tasking. Squeezing in between them as they sign their marriage license so I can ask "Hey, what's that smell is it a candle or an air freshener or what? And do you Swiffer or mop or like not wear shoes in the house and hope for the best? Just out of curiosity." Cutting myself a slice of cake before the cake-cutting while I shout "IS THAT A REAL EAMES CHAIR OR A KNOCKOFF? I WOULDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW ENVIOUS TO BE." It's important to remember that weddings are about the couple's joy but also, crucially, also about me.
Okay, gotta go. Jennifer Holliday just once again snatched every wig in the building and I need to go get my asthma inhaler to recover.
In other news, can you BELIEVE what happened on The View?!
I've read that, since testing positive while on the air, Sunny and Ana have re-taken their tests and have tested negative, so I'm happy to hear that but I still have so many questions!
One, that producer who is playing Charades with Joy Behar! Honey, what?! Joy is like "What's happening?" And he's like "Two words. First syllable..."
Two, the other producer who shouts "NO!" when Joy tries to introduce the Vice President. Secret service agents, COVID safety officers, and live television producers all converging on one moment! Child, somewhere Aaron Sorkin, famed creator of The West Wing and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, just woke up in a cold sweat! I really want to know what Vice President Harris was doing while all of this was happening.
Coming out of the dressing room like Bubble Boy. What in the what?
Third of all! I am so glad that Meghan McCain wasn't there for this because we do no need that commentary on top of everything else. I'm always glad Meghan McCain isn't places where she isn't, honestly. Walking into my kitchen every morning like "I'm glad Meghan McCain isn't here."
Fourth! How did Sunny and Ana get home? I presume they have drivers and aren't just hopping on the subway but still, you can't get in a car with someone else after you just tested positive for COVID in front of the Vice President and the entire nation in the middle of a game of Charades. I've been very stressed about the transportation all week, to be honest.
Last of all! The way Sunny and Ana just jumped up out of their chairs and left! I am still shewk! This whole thing is too much. I am never leaving my house again, baby. No thank. Goodbye to all that I say! Didion did it on em!
Random Thing on the Internet
Five words, Joy Behar--
AUDRA. MCDONALD. PREGNANT. HIGH KICK!
the yard was bi-level,