Gilbert: Here for It, #349

Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!

Last week, I went to a party wearing a novelty t-shirt that I bought from an Etsy store that is no longer in business. It has a photo of the character Whitley Gilbert from the 90s sitcom, A Different World on it, with the word "Gilbert" beneath her.

I wasn't 1,000% sold on the design when I saw it but sometimes I just be buying things. My closet is full of "personality" shirts and jackets that I bought because they seemed funny. I don't really understand why I dress for humor reasons like I'm a sidekick on a TGIF show.

Like, half of my outfits are giving this energy unironically:

Anyway, I wore this shirt because it was cute and a throwback and, as it turned out, a kind of litmus test.

Because the show was about an HBCU and because it went off the air in 1993, there was only a small segment of partygoers who recognized who was on the shirt. This is a segment of the party I'll call "The Real Ones." Others asked me "Who is Gilbert?" which is not something I was expecting. But looking at the design, I can see why. Still others would come up to me, look at the shirt, and say, "I thought this was Prince, but I guess not."

I can sort of see it, but again this was a surprising response.

I left the party and I went to a bar and on the walk to a bar I decided that if people at the bar asked me "Who is Gilbert?" I'd pretend that I thought that Prince was actually named Gilbert. I'd be like, "Oh, Gilbert is one of my favorite singers. I'm sure you've heard of him. He sings that song 'When Birds Call,' or the one '1998,' or the big hit 'Peepaw Rain.'"

This is what is wrong with me, frankly. I dress for humor reasons and my whole life is inscrutable bits.

I did this bit at the bar quite a lot and everyone responded exactly how you think they'd respond: by looking confused and then finding anyone else to talk to. But, honestly, what if Prince's name was Gilbert and he was doing all that with the splits and the butt-less chaps and the heels and whatnot? Where you get all that attitude, Gilbert? How you so sassy, Gilbert?

Unfortunately, I find it hilarious.

This is my favorite artist, Bronsh. She sings such songs as "Lub on Top," "Cuckoo in Love," and "Unmarried Ladies."

Who doesn't love the British singer Andrea and her hits "Turning in the Derp," "Someone Akin to You," and "Howdy."

Oooh, all the kids love her! It's Barney English! She sings "Birds of a Further" and "Not a Good Guy" and won an Oscar for the James Bond song "Dying Today? No Thanks! I'm Busy!"

Elmo Jim! Famous for singing "My Song," and "Candor in the Whim."

Loom Vanguard!

Fred Cylinder!

Milton Homosexual!

Help, I'm trapped in the bit! Release me!

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How you so sassy, Gilbert?,
Eric