Fraud: Here for It, #348

Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!

I was sitting in the park yesterday, having a conversation in the sunshine with an actual human being, face-to-face like they did in olden times, when I got an alert on my phone, an alert on my watch, a phone call all letting me know that one of my credit cards had a fraud alert on it. The Goodyear blimp also flew by with the message, "Eric, your credit score is in danger, girl."

On one hand, I appreciate this thoroughness but, on the other hand, I'm not certain that this is any of my business. In this day and age, a fraud alert is basically one computer talking to another computer going "this is sus, right?" And the other computer goes, "no, he was listening to a sad album on 20 minutes ago, so the $20 charge at Haagen Daaz is fine. Approved!" This is what artificial intelligence should be used for (if anything)--understanding that humans are capricious bags of flesh and emotions and making the world easier for them. Instead, AI is like, "I'm going to actively make you dumber and more paranoid and, weirdly, I'm also going to drink all your water and use all of the electricity in the world. I'm like if your sleep paralysis demon became your roommate."

Anyway, the robots needed my attention. "Did you just buy Wrangler jeans?" the robots asked.

"No," I replied, "I'm drinking the dregs of an oat milk latte and talking to a choreographer friend."

"Hmm," the robots said. "Are you sure you didn't buy a pair of Wrangler jeans for $80 and ship them to Grand Junction, Colorado, a place you have never been? If it helps, the jeans are a size too small for you."

"Let me think..." I told the robots. "I am a capricious bag of flesh and emotion, prone to magical thinking about the size of clothes I wear, but I'm pretty sure I've just been sitting here and, ultimately, what my credit card number gets up to is none of my business. Thank you!"

On the subway ride home, I found three fraudulent charges on my account, all within 10 minutes of each other. I let my credit card company know about them. Oddly, when I went to my email, I found that all three scammers had used my email address and phone number and just had the items shipped to a different shipping address. So, I got three receipts. One purchase was from Barnes & Noble, two graphic novels called One-Punch Man, volumes one and two, sent to someone in Oregon City.

The last purchase was a size 13 pair of Ghost Max 2 running shoes from Dick's Sporting Goods, going to an address in Winter Haven, Florida.

So, I did what any sane person would do: I looked these people's homes up on Zillow.

This is the home where One-Punch Man volumes one and two will be going. Or rather, this is where they would be going if I hadn't been able to cancel the order through Barnes & Noble because, again, the confirmation was sent to my email and I had all the pertinent information, including the name of the person it was being shipped to.

There's something off about all of the images. I thought for a while that they were virtually staged– like all of the furniture was computer-generated. But it's so specific and kind of hodgepodge, I don't see the point of using a computer to stage it badly.

I don't understand a thing about what's happening in this room. It's psychologically distressing to me. I will not be buying this house.

But this, this is the perfect room for reading One-Punch Man, don't you think?

This house has a Zestimate of just over one million dollars; it last sold in 2020 for $840,000. It's 2,400 square feet and has 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. The local elementary and middle school aren't highly rated, but the high school scores an 8 out of 10. All this to say: the owner of this house did not steal my credit card number and order two volumes of One-Punch Man. It was a child. (Who, hopefully, will find other outlets at Oregon City High School, which has a 90% graduation rate and, ideally, a 0% Eric Theft rate.)

I considered a couple of options. I could send this young man, whose first and last name I have, only One-Punch Man volume two. He'd be so confused. "Who are these characters? What are the stakes and circumstances? How many punches is this man allotted?"

I considered buying a copy of both books for myself, photocopying the covers, and sending this young man the photocopies in the Barnes and Noble box. Maybe with a note that read something like "I hope you fail algebra!"

I considered sending a letter to the house addressed "To The Parents of A THIEF!"

But, instead, I did nothing but order a new credit card and make sure that I have purchase alerts turned on for everything. I did not start my day wanting to be involved with the jeans-buyer, or the shoes-wearer, or the young reader. But, again, that's between them and the robots. I'm outside. I'm having a human interaction. I will never know care how many punches it takes.

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about my saga buying a sofa. And many people wrote back asking what sofa I bought. Well, I like my sofa fine, but I can't whole-heartedly recommend it because the stuffing is a little weak and the cushions slide out too much. HOWEVER, I really like this Article loveseat I got for my living room. What a gem!

Other people sent in their own recs!

From Julia: We have a couch from Sabai!

From Emma: This West Elm sofa exceeded all expectations.

Once a month, I send out a special Eric Reads the News to paid subscribers. This month, it was about the Rapture... that wasn't.

If You Are Reading This, You Have Not Been Raptured

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I will not be buying this house,
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