Flannel: Here for It, #280
Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!
David and I went to a Death Cab for Cutie concert this week and it was such an exciting experience! The first thing you need to know is that, going in, I was completely unfamiliar with the collected works of Mr. Cab and his Cuties. I felt like I had probably heard a Death Cab song before and I was aware that they were a band, but that's about as far as it went with me. I kept meaning to listen to some songs prior to the show like I was cramming for a test but every time I logged into Spotify I accidentally listened to the new Broadway cast recording of Into the Woods 1,000 times instead.
(Speaking of cramming for a test, in 11th grade I was in AP History and I was really psyching myself out about it. I just really felt like I wasn't smart enough to be there and I couldn't remember anything and I was unaware of what history was, in general. A mess. The night before our first big test, I studied for hours and then I recorded a bunch of information on a tape recorder, put it in my Walkman, and played it while I slept. I really thought I'd hacked the Matrix with this one. I woke up like "Yeah boy! Did it on 'em! Put those facts directly into my brain! To mis-quote my girl Faith Hill in the classic song 'This Kiss': 'That's subliminal motion!'"
Obviously, it didn't work one dang bit, my head had no history in it whatsoever. I was like "George Washington who?!" I transferred to the regular history class after that but continued to try to implant class material in my brain during REM cycles for a few more months until I realized that was useless. In the regular history class, I wrote a term paper on Evelyn Nesbit because I was obsessed with the musical Ragtime where she appears as a minor character. I was accused of plagiarism and my mom had to come to the school because the teacher said the paper was too good to have just been written by me. I was like, "Baby, where am I supposed to be finding a paper on Evelyn Nesbit to copy?! This is 1999, the internet barely exists, and I am a moron who thought he could Manchurian Candidate himself using a Casio! No, I wrote this myself, using the power of Gay Chaos.")
Back in the present, the Mr. Cab concert was wonderful! Everything was very catchy and the songs were good and the lighting design was incredible and I simply like to have experiences! So when David said he wanted to go see one of the the bands he listened to in high school I said sure and asked no further questions, much like the decision to sign up for AP History.
Prior to the show, we went to dinner about two blocks from the venue. I took particular delight in spotting couples in their late 30s-to-50s ambling up the street, summoned by the promise of early 2000s emo music. I had such a wonderful time and I've never seen so many white people in so many different kinds of flannel in one place. Dads night out!
It's interesting, too, because this felt like situationally-appropriate flannel as opposed to Fall Drag Flannel. I'm sure there's some crossover but I got the sense that a crowd of people for Death Cab, a band that started in the Pacific Northwest in 1999 and became a staple of the Indie Rock scene, have been wearing flannel, in style and out, for a long time.
When the weather starts to turn, I love my first glimpse of Fall Drag. My favorite Fall Drag Queen is a guy in a flannel under a sweatshirt under a peacoat on a 62 degree day. I like to call him a Lil Professor. He's got distressed brown shoes, dark washed jeans; he's rocking a beard and anxiety. High drag!
I love spotting the Lil Professor. It's, I think, one of the Ideal Fall Silhouettes for a Romcom Hero, a character in a 90s romcom or a Lifetime movie. Here's the full list, which I've done no additionally thinking about but which is correct.
Ideal Fall Silhouettes for a Romcom Hero
1. Lil Professor - Here's a scrappy guy with layers! He wants to go on a hay ride!
2. Writer - Unfortunately, writers all think that writers are interesting characters so they put them in romcoms. Alas, writers are not interesting in general. Anyway, the Writer silhouette wears a button-down, like all the time. Sometimes with rolled up sleeves. He's eating Chinese food out of the carton! Dermot Mulrooney in My Best Friend's Wedding and Greg Kinnear in You've Got Mail are Writer silhouettes.
Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally was employed as a writer but he dressed like a Lil Professor. Much to consider.
3. Suit! - Business! Well-tailored! Sushi! Subset of Suit Man is a Mr. Darcy, though that silhouette doesn't play very well in the present.
Kristen Stewart and Aubrey Plaza in Happiest Season were also giving incredible Suit!
4. Hot - Job irrelevant. Attire generally irrelevant. Sometimes chopping wood. Does he own a farm? Maybe?! Hot!
5. Retired Baseball Player - Henleys and straight-legged jeans and muscle aches and a little bit of sadness. Maybe some forehead wrinkles. Think the main character in Linda Holmes' Evvie Drake Starts Over. This is a great practical look if you have shoulders.
These are your options for fall attire! Please record this list and play it while you sleep.
This week on Previously On
Whatever Dr. Carla Hayden says, goes! PERIOD!
Random Thing on the Internet
Sorry, there's one more ideal Fall Silhouette, but only the bravest can attempt: Lenny Kravitz
Here's a scrappy guy with layers!,
Eric
