Extras: Here for It, #364

Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!

I'm finally starting to remember how to say the word semiquincentennial. Not a moment too late!

A year ago or so, when I first heard someone say it correctly, I thought "this dummy speaking gibberish!" Like, what do you mean?! I believe that there is a word for everything but, honey, should there be? Let's consider sitting in silence, beloved.

I simply refused to learn the word and from that point on I just kind of resolved to be boldly wrong, which is my right as an American.

Every time I would encounter the word in print, all the sprockets in my brain factory would go boing-oing-oing and the foreman of my brain factory (a Muppet with a handlebar mustache) would come running out of his office and scream "What are you doing?!"

I'd reply, "I'm trying to pronounce the word semisequi... cenipenni... itchie-gitchie ya-ya Gaga." And the foreman of my brain factory would be waving his hands desperately while all of the other Muppets who work in my brain factory (unionized, of course) ran around looking desperately at dials with needles that were all tipping into the Yikes Zone. (The dials on all the machines in my brain factory have four normal settings: Yeah Sure, What a Lark, Wowee Zowee, and Zoinks. Yikes is beyond Zoinks. Obviously.)

But, nevertheless, I'd persist in trying to say a word I genuinely do not believe exists. And all the glass on all the dials would crack and springs would start popping out of all the machines in my brain factory and the Pun Engine would catch fire and the meandering conveyor belt of my attention span would shudder to a stop and the Muppet foreman would hold up a tiny sign on a stick that said "oh no" and then the whole factory would explode.

So, suffice it to say, the country's 250th birthday has been a fraught experience for me.

As you may know, I live in Philadelphia, where in addition to the semisequi-what-have-you, we hosted our last World Cup match on July 4th (which is, famously, the 4th of July).

I've actually been in three of the World Cup cities this past month. I also was in Boston four times, back and forth from Provincetown. And I went up to Nueva York (famously, a concrete jungle, they say, where dreams are made of, for instance) three days in a row.

It will probably come as no shock to you that, much like the word semiquincentennial, I do not know anything about the World Cup but I'm excited for everyone involved. I have, on multiple occasions, googled "okay, so what do I need to know, generally?" But alas the answer from Google is always "Girlfriend, sigh, where do I even begin with you?"

Being in a World Cup city during the World Cup feels like being in a movie. (I am the main character.) Every time there is a World Cup event, I'm shocked by all the extras who somehow are all wearing the same costume. I was in Times Square and one whole block was taken up by Germany fans, wearing the same jersey and waving flags. Then, across the street, a huge contingent of Ecuador fans marched up to Germany like I was watching a crossover between West Side Story and a Model UN conference.

A few weeks ago I got on the subway and every single person was wearing a blue Curaçao jersey and, truly no offense to Curaçao, but I did not realize there were this many Curaçao fans. The very next day, I got on the subway and all the extras were now in white Croatia jerseys. Meanwhile I'm just standing there with my tote bag and my brown linen shirt sticking out like I'm Elphaba on her first day at Shiz University.

Normally I hate when I don't match the dress code, but in this instance I loved it. It was extraordinary to witness and move through all of the enthusiasm that the World Cup brought and to see how many different cultures and nations where represented in the U.S., whether by fans who live here or people who came here to visit. I can't think of a better way to mark the 250th anniversary of the film Independence Day than by showcasing, through crowds and costumes and more, just how diverse this nation is and how many hands have shaped it. Here's to another semi... quince... centaur!

Variety Pack, the comedy festival I co-produce, is happening again this week! We have such a fun lineup--an improv show geared toward kids, an "I <3 the 90s"-style sketch show about Philly, a Christmas Carol performed by people who are stoned, a workshop on fundraising, a game show called "R U Smarter Than a BFA Grad?", a clown show, a polyamorous dating show, an improvised true crime podcast, and more!

I'm doing a comedic competition show called Let's Fight! and a morning talk show but in the afternoon (because sleepy). Let's hang out!

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Yikes is beyond Zoinks,
Eric