Costume: Here for It, #339

Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet?
Hi!

My friend, I must speak to you of a matter of grave importance! (Steps into a side chamber at the conclave so that our voices don't echo across the Vatican.) Yes, that's right, it is imperative that we confer at once about fancy clothes on famous people.

(If I send you this photo, it means that the gift I'm bringing to the party is myself.)

My favorite kind of looks at the Oscars, or any award show, are looks that make you think "now, is this a costume..." Yes, I'm all for a simple gown or tux, but I'd much prefer if every celebrity burst into Christian Siriano lair and shouted "I'm going for 'supervillain'. What do you have in stock?"

I'm rarely invited to award shows (a travesty that I am writing to the government about) but whenever I am, I always try to put a little too much sauce on the look. I always want people to be like "Wow, you're doing a lot for this local luncheon honoring volunteer dog walkers."

One of the dangers you run into at awards shows is people showing up dressing like the award. This happens at the Oscars and Golden Globes a lot. It's risky to do it is you're nominated because what if you lose? Then you're walking around dressed like someone else's award. That would be like me dressing like the Thurber Prize. (I actually don't even know what the Thurber Prize looks like, despite desperately wanting one. Now I'm going to look it up and email to Christian Siriano. No text in the body of the email. Just the subject: YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. PUT SOME STANK ON IT! I'M A SIZE LARGE.)

Lisa Ann Walter dressed like the award this year, but it's fine because everything she does is great and also she wasn't nominated for an Oscar.

Meanwhile the singer Lisa dressed like the envelope you open at an award show. Obsessed.

I would wear this but the white part of the ensemble would say "Moonlight" because I am always thinking about this moment:

Sebastian Stan is dressed like a wedding invitation envelope where the invitations are printed on very thick textured cardstock and you open it and think "Oh, wow they have money. The food is going to be great at the reception. Okay, I'll go."

Many people were dressed as presents. We must discuss the prevalence of bows.

Cynthia is giving Most Expensive Present Under the Tree, the present you know is from you rich auntie who gets all her presents wrapped at William Sonoma. She also had great food at her wedding but she's divorced now and lives half the year in Dubai (??)

Swedish actor Edvin Ryding wore two bows! This present is from Anthropologie!

Raffey Cassidy's bow is so fun! It's like kerchief jauntily slung around the neck of a person on a yacht, en route to Aunt Pamela's for happy hour.

Okay, moving on!

Halle Berry dressed as a mirror ball at Studio 54 and it's a STUN.

If I send you the following photo it means I'm leaving and I'm taking the party with me.

The sheer number of patterns and textures in the following photo could power Etsy for a year.

This year the IT color was red, which I am not complaining about one bit.

WHEN I SAY I AM OBSESSED! Many people wore outfits you cannot sit in, but Sarah Paulson brought her couch. Perfection. No notes.

Queen Latifah has the same energy but she was like "I enjoy peripheral vision."

Colman Domingo dressed as Ralph Fiennes from Conclave.

An incredible serve. Send up the white smoke! He's taking it!

Ariana Grande is giving water ballet, which, if you know about my love for synchronized swimming you know is the highest compliment.

I don't understand how you sit in this but I guess it doesn't matter because you just float. Now this is the perfect Oscar costume dress. I do love that this entire awards season she has basically dressed as Glinda. One day I'd like to spend six months just going to important events cosplaying as myself from a movie. Now, famously, I do not want to be a movie star, so this would be hard. My dream role is a lab technician on a CSI-type procedural. Every episode I'd have one small scene where I'd move microscopes around while saying something sassy and once a year my character's brother would get kidnapped and so I'd have a real meaty arc, but I'd never get nominated for anything, which would be just fine with me because I work about 3 days a week and I can spend my summers in Dubai with your aunt Pamela.

Omar Apollo dressed as the hottest person working the deli counter. This outfit is ServSafe certified.

Heartstopper star Yasmin Finney dressed as someone filming a Discovery documentary who is trying not to be noticed by a pride of lions. Phenomenal.

WHOOPI!!! GOLDBERG!!! Clapclapclap! Whoopi dressed as her character Guinan from Star Trek. I have never been happier.

This dress is also like a literal interpretation of the film The Shape of Water. The architecture of this dress makes me want to be a better person.

Speaking of architecture, Ava Duvernay is giving brutalist realness.

Meanwhile Rita Wilson is living her best life in the exact opposite of brutalist architecture.

And finally, I must give it up for my guy Timothee Chalamet, who came dressed as the inventor of the Post-It note, Herman Postit.

I truly cannot wait for this biopic.

This outfit is ServSafe certified,

Eric